When Clean is Not Enough

Andy and I love music. All kinds. Still can’t get enough of old school rap, early grunge or Madonna (ok, at least me on that one), but we are also big fans of all the less popular or emerging artists. Neko Case, Swell Season, Ray Lamontagne and She and Him (or anything Uncle Jordan recommends) are most played on my iTunes. Plus, we do not shy away from Top 40, especially music that leans more toward hip hop than America Idol. And we have introduced it all to our kids, as we want them to know more than “Wheels on the Bus” and the “Team Work” song from Wonder Pets.

So our summer song of choice for running, car rides and about anything else has been Eminem and Rihanna’s “Love the Way You Lie.” And in our attempt to be good parents, we downloaded both the “explicit” and “clean” versions and would play the appropriate track pending our audience. Again, let me stress, that is all we thought we had to do to be good parents. But maybe not …

If anyone has read CNN.com or any other media outlet over the past few weeks you might be aware of a little controversy around the song (similar to the controversy that has surrounded both artists in real life) related to its underlying domestic violence theme. Are they promoting it? Are the condemning it? Is it a symbolic public service announcement? Or an irresponsible rant glorifying abusive behavior? Which leads me to wonder ... is the clean version clean enough? Is just silencing the f-bombs make it OK or are the other words in this song more offensive and damaging?

Like any good rap song, it takes at least 30 plays to fully understand the words, and therefore, sometimes the meaning. So after about a month of having Alex and Avery dance and sing along in the backseat (Alex mimics the boy part; Avery the girl part), I had to hit pause and switch playlists permanently, fearful they would take some of their newly memorized lyrics and recite them in a different situation or different context (or actually tuck them away in the back of their minds and have them emerge later in life sending us all to therapy).

Despite the catchy (and somewhat cute when Avery sings it in her baby doll voice) refrain, “Just going to stand there and watch me cry /that’s all right because I love the way you lie,” the closing line of the song, “next time she leaves I’ll tie her to the bed and set this house on fire,” is so wrong on so many levels I now cringe a bit when listening to it alone. Luckily, kids (or at least my kids) seem to learn things in order. Like they knew ABC, but struggled to get XYZ right when first singing the alphabet song. I am hoping this cognitive pattern still holds true, and the final verse, or a few other questionable lines peppered throughout, never entered their budding psyche.

As for us, we will be doing a full review of our iTunes catalog – beyond profanity – and may give in and download Kidz Bop 18 just to be safe.