Turning One: What is Means to Mommy

One year is finally here. This was something I had been looking forward to since our trip home from the hospital, but it became something I was dreading since two weeks ago. It seems with each new day, week and month I notice one thing: Alex’s cognitive skills are developing ... and fast. So sorry to get scientific, but there is no better way to describe it.

I was not ready for him to open the refrigerator and point to his yogurt ... because it means he remembers I put it there last night. I was no ready for him to pull a family picture off of the end table and smile at his Aunt Jen ... because it means he remembers the fun he had with her last Wednesday. I was not ready for him to be standing across the room and run to me with open arms when I said “come give mommy a hug.” Because this action obviously means 1) he knows who mommy is, 2) he has moved beyond just walking and 3) he can show affection. This can’t be happening yet! I was ready for him to get big – which was suppose to mean just larger diapers, more food and less naps – but I guess it really meant he would turn into a little person.

And with these rapidly growing cognitive abilities has come an emerging independence. Now toys, neighbors and the guy at the check-out counter at Kroger’s are all as interesting – if not more – than me. Andy say’s I am going through a reverse separation anxiety. And he may be right. There is something to feeling needed, and there is so much satisfaction in taking care of someone. But there is something about letting go and seeing him run up and down the back hallway at Beef O’Brady’s with Allison, Tyler and Kaitlyn, while I can sit at a dinner table and enjoy an adult conversation. So I am ready to do it if it means he is acting his age - 1 year and 2 days - but only if he promises to slow down a little bit … in the back hallway and in life.